so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
