what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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