Your tits are I can't wait for
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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