i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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