S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
