Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize