erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
