yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
worst night to have a conscience
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
