Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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