I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
