This is not my ceiling
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
