Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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