If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
