Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
