So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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