my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
God, I missed his penis.
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