I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
