the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
When are your genitals available?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
