oh god the rape fog is back!
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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