? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
