I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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