he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Houston, we have a blender
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
