I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
