I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
