My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
