Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
