I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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