Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
did i just pee glitter
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
