I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
