that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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