if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
