So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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