I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Randomize
