I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
