There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
