none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
My pussy is not your playground.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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