I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
