My sheets look like a crime scene.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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