My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Randomize
