They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
