I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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