Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
