Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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