either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
