The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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