I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize