Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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