Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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