the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Actions speak louder than pants.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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