So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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