he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
