I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
If its not for food we ain't going out.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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