So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
