I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
