Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
