The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
