all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
