I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Randomize
