Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
