U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
