We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
