I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
