can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
So vagazzling was a success
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
