Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
