Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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