thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
