grandma shit on top of the toilet
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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