Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
be right there i have to get my cape
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Randomize
