they need to just BURY HIM!
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
then he tried to convert me to islam
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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